If you ever want to hurt my feelings . . .

And make me really angry at the same time, I will tell you exactly how to do it.



Step 1: Accept my invitation or my attendance to an evening where I will cook for you, make you a priority, or otherwise put thought and energy into spending time with you/supporting you/being there for you.

Step 2: Allow me to expend that energy by cleaning, cooking for you, clearing my schedule for the event, or putting myself into an uncomfortable situation to be with you or to support you.

Step 3: At the last minute, call and nonchalantly announce that you can't make it. Be sure to act like it's no big deal, and absolutely don't try to reschedule an appointment at another time to make up for the missed one.


That is exactly what happened this evening. A family I know had accepted my invitation to dessert, coffee, and games at my apartment. Then, after I had cleaned my apartment for two hours in anticipation of their arrival, they called and nonchalantly announced that they could not make it, as their sons had decided to go to a movie instead.

I know this ought to be no big deal, but I had cleared my schedule for them, anticipated their visit, turned down an afternoon with my family, and put extra energy forth in making sure they would have a comfortable evening at my home.

The upside is that I did get a clean apartment out of the deal!

Even so, it always feels like a rejection when this happens, as if my effort, presence, and energy are not important enough to the person in question to actually show up where they said they would be. I'm not sure why this insults and angers me so. I think loving actions must be my love language because it always feels as if my friendship has been rejected when this happens.

Mind you, its not only that they couldn't make it. You can always avoid hurting my feelings by apologizing for not making it, and by offering an idea for a different but equivalent get together at a later time to make up for it.

But nobody seems to think of that. I don't think most people understand my perspective on this. All I know is that this is my absolute first and unrivaled pet peeve at the moment, since it has happened a few times in the past few months with different people involved. And none of them ever understand why I get so upset about it.

I'll be sure to provide a very happy, positive post next time to make up for this negative, angry one. But that's how I'm feeling right now.

I wanted to disappear into my guacamole!

Hey!

So, I would like to pose you all a question.

Situation: I went with the ninth grade English teachers to lunch at Fiesta Guadalajara today. Usually, it's just me and the girls, but today Duke Staggs came along. Duke is one of our social studies teachers. He is Native American, has long hair, and is one of the myriad of men -- married and single -- who I find attractive. That fact alone may have added to my feeling of discomfort

At first the conversation was all about school, which was totally fine. Then, the English teachers switched to the only other topic they know how to discuss. (Can you guess what it is?) And, suddenly, I was at a table with five people all alluding to and asking each other advice about sex, and someone I find attractive was sitting right next to me . . .the only man at the table.

As you all know, I'm single and (for now) celibate, so this posed a pretty uncomfortable situation for me. (I was the only celibate person at the table) I found myself in the midst of a discussion I couldn't contribute to and to which everyone else was sure to contribute.

It could have been an uncomfortable situation for Duke, but, really, he seemed quite at ease with it.

So, what do you do? You're sitting at a table full of people who are vocally expressing experiences that you are uncomfortable sharing, and yet your silence in itself reveals more about you than anything.

It was weird, and I felt really on the spot. I hope Duke doesn't come with us to lunch again, because, for some reason, it's not as big a deal when it's just the ladies and me.

:) Elisabeth

Training Update 2

Hello all!

Well, I was at the gym today clad in the only cool (as in temperature) clothes I can find (a pair of plaid pajama pants and a ripped up T-shirt) and in walks the man. Well, one of the "men." Yup, I was standing there talking to the girl at the desk and up behind me walks Harry Connick, Jr.

Being not always so good at stifling my will to talk, I opened my mouth and out came:

Me: I knew a kid in high school who wanted to be you.

Him: Yeah?

Me: Yeah. He was the cutest guy in our school at the time. He was a crooner. But he has since faded into oblivion.

Him: Yeah. It happens to the best of us.

Then I related my story about "Muscle Milk", since he was buying one, but that's about it. Then he got onto the stationary bike and talked on his cell phone. He was still on it when I left.


That's the thing about my gym. You can be famous, but mostly nobody cares.

We saw Billy Currington (the country singer) once. The guy behind the desk had to point him out for me and tell me that he had once been on the cover of "Playgirl" magazine. My only thought about that was that he was pretty short to be so sought after. But Harry Connick, Jr. was tall. And he looked quite a bit like himself, really.

Enough about that.

This week has been great, work-out wise! Dan has me on a four day a week program now. I do it on my own, mostly. It's only supposed to take 45 minutes but right now I'm averaging 2 hours. I hope to get better. And, if I don't, o well. Summer is coming and I'll have the time.

Running is going great too. Mike and I had an awesome, brisk, 40-minute run yesterday morning. It was a lot of fun. I have really enjoyed the time I've had working with him.

That's about it. Have a good day!