Argh! Grumpy Day!

I think the problem is that it's Tuesday and I'm still at school. I have some very difficult 10th grade students and I am still frustrated from the day. I'll go home and write more so I'm not so grumpy. :)

Elisabeth

There's something about Germans . . .

Hey!

It's Sunday around noon. I'm still at church, waiting for my mom to finish up so we can have some lunch.

There's a new German couple at Church, Petra and Hubert. They're so cool! I don't know what it is about Germans, but I'm finding the same thing with them as I did when I met Markus; we just really hit it off. We have great conversations, they're very friendly, very open, very positive people. I don't have to dance around what I'm trying to say or act like someone I'm not. Is this the way many Germans are? Or has Germany simply given up three of its finest by letting the German friends I've made come to the states? I don't know, but it makes me want to go to Germany! I'm afraid I'd be disappointed once I got there, though.

Today is an especially tense day for some reason. I guess I realize how much work ahs to be done for school and I also know that I won't have time to get it all done. Tonight, Miss Sara will be having a little get together at Moxie Java to see everyone . . .since she's only in town for the weekend. I'll be taking a camera if I can, so there will be pictures to peruse later on.

It's time to go to lunch!
Elisabeth

Entering the MFZ!

Thanks for that phrase, Sara! I like it.

For those of you who don't know what an MFZ is, I'll just say it's like the DMZ, only with fewer guns. And it's not totally man-free, just mostly. At least my emotional "inner sanctum" as Connally Gilliam calls it, is man-free, and so it will stay.

But men are welcome other than that.

Well, it is, once again, Sunday. The day of crazy planning and hoping I can get everything done before tomorrow! I have reached the point where I'm scouring readwritethink.org for ideas and lesson plans. I found a great PP presentation on the elements of plot, but I'm thinking about it other than that.

My Life Make Over
My changes for me.

Last night over breadsticks, olive oil, caesar salad, and chocolate cheesecake, (I was eating and Theresa wasn't. She never eats in public.) Theresa and I sat at the Olive Garden and created a whole eating and exercise plan for me. She has become my new skin and exercise consultant, and my diet ideas generator. Theresa is a purist, and would have me eating nothing but fruit and vegetables for the first three weeks if I would submit to a diet that strict. But I know my limits, and a diet that strict goes beyond my boundaries. Here's how last night went:

Theresa: (writing furiously on a sheet of paper) You're going to have to give up bread

Me: (eating a breadstick) okay

Theresa: And no more oatmeal.

Me: No more oatmeal?! But I eat oatmeal everyday!

Theresa: Yeah, but it's heavy and you need to give up heavy foods for a while.

Me: Okay. What should I have for breakfast then?

Theresa: Fruit.

Me: Just fruit??

Theresa: Yeah. And maybe some lowfat yogurt.

Me: Aack. Okay. Whatever.

Theresa: And I've been thinking about your ice cream habit. You have to give up ice cream.

Me: (eating chocolate cheesecake now) and chocolate?

Theresa: Yeah. I'll try to think of what you should eat instead. You're going to have to mostly cut out cheese.

Me: Cheese? But I love my cheese. It makes my sandwiches taste good!

Theresa: I know. But it's full of fat. And you have to drink 40-60 ounces of water everyday. . .

Theresa and I then went to the mall, and I broke down and bought the Proactiv three-step system, holding my nose as I handed over the 50 bucks. That stuff better be darn effective for that kind of money! But I've heard great reports, so I'm hopeful.

But I'm following it to the letter, and my nails are still growing . . .we'll see what happens!

I've got to get back to planning. bye!

Friday Night at Work

Hello, My Peeps!

It's Friday evening at 6. I'm still at work. It's been a good week. Lots of good work stuff has happened, convincing me that I am slowly getting the hang of this job. (Yea!) Things can only get better from here!

Everything else is going well too. I have decided that I need to have the option of wearing a bikini next summer, so I've been working out and watching my food intake more, and that is going well.

A lot of what inspired me was receiving the Dateline special on Aron Ralston this week in the mail. (The hiker who cut off his arm.) I suppose I didn't really realize how amazing his story was. But, after watching it, it really struck me how the world is: You can be beyond the depths of despair -- I mean, wayyy past the point where there was any glimmer of hope -- all can be lost, and still there is hope. Aron was more than ready to die after six days in the desert with little food and water when just a little change of perspective showed him the way to save himself. His story is really amazing. It's extremely inspiring. It shows that maybe miracles aren't so momentous after all -- they happen all the time.

I've also decided to stop biting my nails. It's weird to see the little bit of white peeping out on the tops of them. That's going well too. I think growing up has helped a lot. There's a lot of stuff I can do now that I was never able to do before, just by deciding to make some simple changes.

And it has been pleasant to finally decide (at least for the moment) that boys and friends (both boyfriends and girlfriends) don't merit the amount of effort I've been putting forth on them. (No offense, anyone. It's an important realization to make because there are more important things than you that need my attention right now.) It's just so nice . . .because, suddenly, it's okay to be alone on Friday night . . .to go to bed at 9 on the weekend. Lately, no one has been around and, y'know what?, That's totally fine! I'm going to take myself out to dinner at my favorite little restaurant tonight and then, we'll see, you never know what crazy thing I'll do. I've even been thinking about organizing my sock drawer because it's been driving me crazy. And, yeah, that sounds pleasant!

I have decided that I'm going to go visit Misty during Spring Break, speaking of friends. While I don't mind spending more time alone, it doesn't mean I don't like people and that I don't care whether they come or go. Thinking about Spring Break makes me miss her less, because, yeah, I really miss her.

So . . .that's about it. I'm awfully hungry. I'm going to head home and treat myself to a burrito.

I'll see you next weekend, Sara! Love you guys!

Elisabeth

Uh Oh, Bad Momma!

I have been looking at posts and internet sources and I have discovered that I am undoubtedly not walking Wesley near often enough. I guess the frequency of our walks would make some dog owners chew me out. This, and I am the dog owner who buys expensive arthritis food, gives him meds everyday, takes care of his ear that would otherwise be chronically infected, brushes his teeth with an electric toothbrush, and lets him run around the yard all day. I guess he still needs to be walked for about an hour everyday! Incredible! I had no idea. So, Wesley will be doing a little walking this evening, and tomorrow evening,etc.

Poor kid. And I thought he was so well-treated! O well. A walk wouldn't do me any harm,either.

It's been a good day, but I have more work to do!

More later!
Elisabeth

Sunday Jitterzzz

Hello, my loyal and devoted fan!

I love the Sonic commercial where the husband says he ought to write about Sonic on his blog because his "fans would be interested"

His wife points out that the only one who reads his blog is his mother.

"She promised to tell her neighbor about it!" He says.

So, those who do [or don't] read my blog, this is for you!

I have been feverishly planning for the last two or three hours, having faced some major planner's block -- I think in part due to the extra stress of shifting gears back to school after a vacation.

And my sweet Misty is leaving! That adds extra urgency to the situation.

So, I have very little to say except that I feel stressed, and I just had to type up a whole article about Aron Ralston and his six days pinned alone in a Utah Canyon(until he cut his hand off and got out alive.) I hate reading stuff like that because I kind of feel like I'm there with him. It's kinda traumatic.

He's a cutie, though!

HOUSE BUYING

Ryan, I think you were right. Severe saving and giving up stuff like coffee and library fines will undoubtedly help me get a decent house sooner!

:) Gotta go. In intense, stressful, planning time!
Elisabeth

Sunday Update

Hello all!

Sunday evening and feeling good!

I've been thinking hard the last few days. New thoughts. Nourishing thoughts. Realizing that I need to nurture some new perspectives and this realization has eased some of the mental and emotional weight I habitually carry around.

Issue One: What's it all about, anyway?
Sub-issue: God, Me, my dreams and goals, and God's work in my life.

I certainly haven't got this one figured out. Nor will I go into great detail about what I've been thinking about it. I will say, though, that God has been steadfastly and unmovingly teaching me the following two things.

1) He will come first. He's adamant about this one. I can complain and cry and throw up all the distractions at once, but He doesn't budge. I think the Bible's right when it says that God is jealous. He wants to be first, and He'll wait patiently until I can get it through my head that He needs to be first in my life. I think I have to understand that and live it before I can take on any other relationships that could (and would at this point)come before Him. I can't say I've got everything figured out, but that's where I think I'm supposed to go. It's tough to accept the blessings offered instead of trying to create my own, but the more I remind myself that God knows what my life would be like in the best of all possible worlds -- and that he wants that for me -- it gets easier. God knows what is best for me, and He provides me with what I need. In Mother Theresa's words -- words that I always try to remember -- "How much more the Heavenly Father knows!"

2) The hard part of this is realizing that His will for me may not be the will I have for myself. Whoa, that one is tough. I have all these fears . . .What if this happens? and What if I never accomplish this and this? I'm scared the end of my life will find me as a lonely old cat lady in a big, empty house. I don't want that. But that's where taking it a day at a time comes in, and that seems to allay major What if stresses.

Issue Two: Lesson Planning

I have decided to dispose of the unit topic I was teaching in the ninth grade class because I didn't have any materials for it and it was boring . . .to me too. So, I sat down this weekend and started a whole new unit topic. I decided on my conceptual and procedural goals, made my materials list, and I've been screaming along ever since. I've got Monday and Wednesday pretty much planned, but there's still more work to do. Feeling great about the progress I've made though. :)I'm hoping to do something similar for tenth grade. My only fear is that the reality of teaching school will up my stress level enough that it will knock my intellectual functioning closer to the brainstem. Then I can't think abstractly as well . . .I read about that in Fred Jones and I think it explains why it's so hard for me to plan lessons at the end of the school day: I'm stressed, exhausted, and I've had it up to here.

Issue Three: Finances

Many know how concerned about money I've been lately. But I realized this weekend that I'm at the bottom of the barrel right now and I'm starting on the up-swing. Things can only get better for me financially. Here's why:

A) I'm at the bottom of the payscale. I make least amount that any teacher can in the Meridian schools. This won't last . . though, granted, it won't change soon either. I still have at least a year and a half to put in before I'm eligible for a raise.

B) I've just paid off some debts, so my disposable income is really limited at this particular moment. That makes me feel financially strained and I think that has added to my financial squirming.

C) I've gotten a raise this year and I actually have some disposable income now but that fact hasn't registered yet since I paid off some debts and haven't seen any of that money go into my savings or checking accounts yet.

C) Things aren't so bad. My debt is low. There's some money in savings, and it can only get better. I just need to wait it out and let things improve gradually, as they will clearly do from now on.

The only depressing thing? I went through my usual round of looking at housing prices today. . .It's a cycle: I start out idealistically looking at listings on realtor websites, swing around the mortgage calculator and check how much mortgage would be, then, when I see those results, I go check the "How much can I afford?" calculator, get frustrated and give the whole thing up until I forget how frustrating it was, get curious, and start checking listings again. My buying power today? $85,000. Ha! But, it could be worse. Eventually, I may find another single adult who wants to buy together or my sister might stop telling me where to go every time I bring it up, or some other weird option my present itself. Things can only get better from here. So, in the meantime, I'll wait and save and be happy in my lovely apartment with hardwood floors. :)

Wesley got blessed today for the Feast of St. Francis. We got there just before the blessing part of the ceremony because Wesley decided to jump out of the car and take a gleeful jaunt around the neighborhood with me driving right behind. What a turd! At least he's good and blessed now, but I don't think it will affect his will to be free to sniff new places.

:) He's up surveying his backyard kingdom now, and making sure it doesn't get ransacked by squirrels looking for a good time.

Back to work!
Elisabeth