My Family and a Great Book

I have come to realize lately that there are members of my family who would like me better if I didn't have a graduate degree. They would approve of me more if I was married, had a couple of babies who took up all my time and energy instead of using that time and energy in selfish pursuits like running. They would like it if I had to use my financial resources to keep up with a mortgage and pay for pediatric doctor bills instead of using my extra money to pull myself out of grad school loan debt and to travel for races. Somehow, life would seem more fair if I had had to pay for my own college education and if I hadn't had half the advantages I have been fortunate enough to receive in this life. In other words: They would like me more if I was more like them; if I had to struggle as much as they have.

I don't think it's a bad thing that some of my family sees things this way. After all, My family lately has had to deal with diseases and the ensuing medical bills, deaths, odd jobs to make ends meet, etc. It's not that all those things are bad but, I can see, from the perspective of someone whose whole life has been caught up in the care of others for years and years, my lifestyle must appear to be very self-serving.
I would probably see it that way, too, if I were them. But, what should I say? Things are going well. Life right now is pretty short on misery. Should I try and make myself more miserable to make others happy? I don't think so. Perhaps there are ways I can serve, though, that I am not seeing. I should keep my eyes open for those opportunities, but I don't know of any other lessons I might take from some of my family members' reactions to me.

The Pigman and Me by Paul Zindel


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